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Forgotten Dreams
10-31-2009, 04:38 AM
These are some of the works i have made over the years..i am open to suggestions and tips
Everyone is open to their opinions so please don't hold back.
Just speak your mind.
Some of these are dark so please if they disturb you please stop reading them...
The titles are underlined to let you know when a new poem begins.....

Where...Where.....

Where will you be when the world ends,
Behind a rock or beneath the sand.
Will you confess your sins,
or be blown away by Satan's' winds.
Hold steady to your faith,
as it will keep you safe.
As your reality bends,
Darkness will cover both polar ends.

Darkness Comes

Darkness comes in the night,
like a tale of horror, fear, and fright.
It will seek you out,
while you try to find a new route.
It will send armies of demons and fiends that hate the light,
Darkness will come when your guardians say goodnight.

A vision of love
The angels sing,
when you come though the door opening
You shine so bright
over any other light
If you cry when your sad,
I will hold you till your glad
I love what I found,
What i found can never be bound
what I found is love
which flies above the ground like a dove
to you I tell,
To be without you is like living in Hell.

An empty shell
I sit here as the world passes me by,
and see happiness in everyone's eye
and i ask myself when i think of my life
why i shouldn't just pick up the knife
slide it across my wrist,
and think of my unfulfilled wish
look down and see it seep out
and hear the others shout
but i can't see them though my eye
but i know none of you will break down and cry
you go about the world without a care
but i am still stuck siting here
Alone, unnoticed, unwanted
gone and forgotten.

Forgotten Dreams
I sit here and cry
knowing my dreams will never fly
the heart, what is it about
and why can't it just rip it out
the feelings are meaningless
the ones nestled in my chest
when i am gone and forgotten
my heart will be harden
they left me here
because i wanted to be near
thoughts of the dark
is the only thing that softens my heart
so just forget me
while i sit here; head resting on my knee

Unnoticed
This is my life, but why is it so empty?
Why does it feel like a shell
and as melancholy as a single bell?
Why won't anyone come find me?

Bound and alone
My wrist is cuffed
The darkness surrounding me
The pain...i have enough
so dark that i can't see
Entered into a lone house
the crow staring though
my pain can't be doused
and the night began anew.

A Dream
Dreams are hollow logs
Empty, forgotten
Containing a sin
A unreachable object
Cutting into your neck

War
He said, Son,
Have you see the world?
Just carry this gun and you’ll even get paid.
We marched and we sang,
We all became friends,
As we learned how to fight.
I kicked in the door,
I yelled my commands,
I got my man.
We took him away,
A bag over his face.
Just medals and scars,
I brought home that flag,
Now it gathers dust.

Rise Against
Appeal to Reason
Hero of War

Name Poem
Bored most the time
Registered web master
A natural poet
Diagnosed with A.D.D
Like to sleep
Easily amused
Young at heart

Seen many things
Many of them disturbing
In themselves unclean
Thinks deeply
Hates to be useless

An envision of what love is
Love is gold
It sounds like a wind chime
It smells like a sweet dessert
It tastes like a slice of cake
Love feels like adrenaline running though your veins


The quiet tree resting
The sun shining on a bench
Enjoying the day
_____________________
Life
Sweet, Joyful
Smiling, Breathing
Home, Family--Coffin, Funeral
Crying, Hugging
Cold, Dark
Death

jennyfer1x
11-08-2009, 03:13 AM
They are very nice =).

Forgotten Dreams
11-08-2009, 03:27 AM
Thank you very much. ^^

It fell apart.
All be cause of my heart.
It shouldn't be so hard.
Just one word, one card.
But no it fell apart.
All because of my damn heart.

Yahweh
11-08-2009, 03:28 AM
lots of creativity but the rhyming and syllabic rhythm schemes are sporadic and uneven.
overall though good stuff, good stuff.

BatteryAcid
11-08-2009, 03:30 AM
omg tasty.
nice poems

Forgotten Dreams
11-08-2009, 03:30 AM
Thats the point.
Some start well then as despair grows it becomes scattered, unorganized.
It also shows that beauty and imagery can be present with out reason or a pattern.
rarely is beauty in nature organized.

When I first saw you
My heart skipped a beat
When I first heard you
My mind went blank
When I first touched you
My feet refused to move
When I first kissed you
My ears blocked out every other sound
When I first told you I love you
My whole body stopped working
When I first learned you did too
My life began anew

Yahweh
11-08-2009, 03:33 AM
beauty in nature just looks uneven, but is actually very rhythmic and patterned.
kind of like the snail shell. the mathematic equation for that shell relates to the number of bees in the hive. nature fits perfectly like interlocking puzzle shapes. we just have to find which ones go together.

Forgotten Dreams
11-08-2009, 03:36 AM
But...there is always a difference.
My poems are what i felt.
In nature feelings are random.
You can't pattern them.

ThinkMooInc
11-08-2009, 03:46 AM
There are types of poems that do have specific structres, such as sonnets and haiku. There's also such a thing as too sporadic, particularly if lines are broken up to the point where they are no longer coherent, or if a line break is used just for the sake of using one.

And, hopefully, feelings are random OUTSIDE of nature as well.