Teen pregnacy and relationship ages.

[bigt275316]

Recently I have had a little bout of getting my girlfriend pregnant. So far everything I have heard was a shot about how we aren't ready for kids and us kids don't know how lucky we had it. Now I understand we are young and it wasn't on purpose, But who decides on what is to young? Does the job the parents have decide? Do the parents decide. What do you think?
Also along with this is the argument of age, A few times I have been called a rapist for getting my girlfriend pregnant due to the age gap. Im 20 and she is 17 but why does 3 years make any different then a senior and sophomore dating. Or what becomes even more hypocritical is the age of parents that complain when most parents have gaps as large as 5-10 years separating them.

-cough- also excuse my spelling, I fail normally.

[Phyxyon]

Sorry to be so harsh on you but are you really sane? Trying to get your girlfriend pregnant while being a 20 year old guy and a 17 year old girl? Seriously what's the rush to have a child? Do you really think you can raise him well and i'm not just talking about money issues but psychological as well .
Try to enjoy your youth more and have a child when your 25 or so . Being a more matured couple would be better and it's irresponsible of your to do this with a minor .
Although parents might be knuckleheads sometimes , you should at least hear they're advices and think about it . An adolescent girl shouldn't give birth . A child ain't a pet to fool around with it's allot of responsibility for they're parents .

[Lainemaa]

Let's try to debate this from less personal viewpoint. If it gets too personal, I'll close this down.

Three years is not too big an age gap. I think people are getting too sensitive about stuff like that these days. Local laws about age of consent vary but I doubt that a 20-year old would face consequences for sex with a 17-year old in many places.

For having children, some are ready younger than others. It's not the actual age that matters so much as the individual circumstances and characters. Some might not be ready when they become parents but rise to the occasion and grow up to be good parents. Some have good enough support network that they have time to grow into the role without harm. And it's not just about being psychologically ready, there material stuff counts a lot too. Parents who are still in school and living with relatives will have a harder time with it than those who're already out there supporting themselves.

[bigt275316]

Sorry to be so harsh on you but are you really sane? Trying to get your girlfriend pregnant while being a 20 year old guy and a 17 year old girl? Seriously what's the rush to have a child? Do you really think you can raise him well and i'm not just talking about money issues but psychological as well .
Try to enjoy your youth more and have a child when your 25 or so . Being a more matured couple would be better and it's irresponsible of your to do this with a minor .
Although parents might be knuckleheads sometimes , you should at least hear they're advices and think about it . An adolescent girl shouldn't give birth . A child ain't a pet to fool around with it's allot of responsibility for they're parents .

Pregnancy isn't always about trying,sometime it just happens by accidents. Its one of the reason I think Sex ed and the use of Condoms and things like that should be taught in high school. To many times teens are caught without the stuff to protect themselves and end up going heads in without thinking.
As for raising a child, what difference does 5 years make when it comes to psychological leadership? Most people who act crazy when there 20 still act crazy when their 25. As for myself, I was always raised up straight headed and as for now i was already planning on going to the navy, this really pushed me where now im a United States DEP waiting for my shipping date to Great lakes Michigan. And me and her plan on getting married before the child is born and she will be staying on base well im in the navy, and she can go to online collage threw the Military Spousal tuition program.
And as for age, I don't understand where the concept of to young to give birth to kids? You have to remember all through history girls were married off at 13-14 years old and were expected to have kids well before 18 years old.

As for laws, my state has the romeo and juliet law (if the girl is older then 16 she can date a guy with'n a rage of 4 years of her. i.e. 16/10 17/21 ) after a 18 year old kid was sentenced to stat rape cause the parants were raciest and didn't like that fact he was going out with there 17 year old.

[ghassassin]

And as for age, I don't understand where the concept of to young to give birth to kids? You have to remember all through history girls were married off at 13-14 years old and were expected to have kids well before 18 years old.


It's terrible on their health. That's why.

I read in the newspaper about a young couple who eloped and had a child. Long story short, they had to sell it eventually. Not to discourage you or anything, but love alone is not enough. I live in the same fear of losing my shining youth to marriage or fatherhood.

[Neko_hime]

well congrats on her gettin pregnant
even if it was by accident it doesnt mean u shouldnt be any less excited
i dont think there is a real age problem in ur case, now if ur not ready for a child and u dont hav a steady job than that causes difficulty for both the parents and the child
i know this from experience, my mother got pregnant with my sister at age 17 and it was very hard for them, plus im only 16 and im currently 7 months pregnant, and believe me im not ready for it, but he's comin whether i like it or not so im workin hard for him ^^
your gf is very lucky to hav u by her side, and im very glad you hav it all planned out, but i need to tell u that it dont always go as planned
wen the baby comes things will change and they will get harder
...anyways theres nothin really u can do at this point but to carry on as ur plannin, make sure to take very good care of each other she's definantly gonna need u
dont make this into a bad thing, wats done is done and life goes on

[Hana Yuri]

Everyone decides in their own opinion when is too young. It's common to say you're still too young to have a child while in school, college/university mainly because it'll interfere with the education.

3 years isn't a big different but maybe that fact that she isn't 18 and still probably is in school .. it causes a lot of tension. When I think about it, the 5-10 year age gap, they probably didn't have a child until later on, 17 and 20 is still young and I'm only 16.

I think children, babies are cute and I want one, but not at this age.

[Quesoman]

The reason most adult don't want teens getting pregnant is because :

1. Most cases they end up trying to get the new grandparents to raise the kid. But you won't so thats cool.

2. Not done with school and don't have a degree which means you probably don't have a career that pays enough money to actually pay off child support and other thing needed to raise a child. But if you're loaded then that shouldn't be a problem.

3. Right along with that, trying to get an education and take care of a child at the same time IS NOT easy. Which is why it is wiser to raise a family after you're done with school.

I've found this out because my mom was pregnant with me when she was 16/17. And I know others who are going thru this now. So now that the damage is done (and PLEASE don't abort the baby) you shuld just prepare yourself for the future. The difference between you and the ppl I know is that most are single mothers but you seem like you're gonna stick with your woman and thats awesome. :)

So if you finish college, (well, both of you) get a good career, and get married so that child support won't be a problem) then that would make things a lot easier. :D

[Ryu]

In my humble opinion, its too young if you need to ask if its too young.

Always thought that people shouldn't try the snoo snoo if they worry about the outcome, then again, not many see eye to eye on that. How is this relevant you may ask? Well, I believe that the legal ages are there for good reason. People tend to do stupid things when young, and it seems like far too many children are being raised by immature parents these days.

I believe the general age when you decide to do the baby making is when you've found your foothold in life, not before.

[Phyxyon]

So if you finish college, (well, both of you) get a good career, and get married so that child support won't be a problem) then that would make things a lot easier. :D

That's my pov as well . And you should avoid having a child at such age not only because of financial reasons but you're still too immature to be honest .
Still don't get why rush things like that? Just enjoy your life a few more years and you'll have plenty of time to grow and watch over your children later on . Get a nice job , a decent smart wife and try your luck .
It doesn't matter how much mature and responsible father you think you are now if you think of letting a 17 year old pregnant it kinda ruins it all .

[bigt275316]

That's my pov as well . And you should avoid having a child at such age not only because of financial reasons but you're still too immature to be honest .
Still don't get why rush things like that? Just enjoy your life a few more years and you'll have plenty of time to grow and watch over your children later on . Get a nice job , a decent smart wife and try your luck .
It doesn't matter how much mature and responsible father you think you are now if you think of letting a 17 year old pregnant it kinda ruins it all .


Well money isn't a problem considering im going to be in the military. Housing either and my girl is the one that keeps my head on straight and is more mature then anyone i know (president and vice pres of several programs in her school.) The only issue i have is with the Rate that i picked for the navy (damage control) 6 months or more of the year I would be at sea. But I been talking to my recruiter about getting my rate changed to something I can expect to stay on base with.

[Locke]

I think the only issue here is money. Common sense and maturity are two different things. If you can use common sense to raise your child, 5 years will make no difference what so ever.

But I do agree money is very important, if you're both still in school how are you going to support the child? Dump it onto some relative? Because that is shitty.

[sanjiyan69]

Money is not everything...but comes pretty darn close to it.

Wife and I are both 30 and our agreement was "if we don't have our own house, no kids." Our 5 year anniversary is coming up in 2 weeks and we've been trying for 3 years. no luck.

I agree with the members that get a solid financial foundation and education BEFORE having family is probably the better idea. But whatever floats your boat...

[statcat]

You should have enough money to take care of them but you also have to be mature enough and responsible enough to take care of the child. And you should have a lick of intelligence or enough money to pay someone to teach your kid the things you can't teach.

[shkark]

youth are dumb regardless of gender dont complicate things until they figure life out and such

3 years difference during teen years14-17
thats MAX or else you are one sick person

17-18, 5 years difference max

after that you are mature enough to make your own decisions with a clear and un compromised look at the world so go to town

keep in mind this is for BOTH genders

[Lainemaa]

Take the discussion to the "Age of Consent" thread. This has too much personal stuff in it.