PDA

View Full Version : [OMSWC # 9] Fight, Fight, and Fight....


p0rtGa$ D. aCe
07-30-2009, 08:12 PM
It's the first time i have been writing a story. So, all comments are welcome here as i hope that those comments will make me write better. So enjoyed the story.

Title: Fight, Fight, and Fight....
Word Count: 3723
Theme: Obsession
Disclaimer: My own story. Inspired from the movie Crows Zero.


John Porter enters Texas High with one mission, to become the strongest fighter in this school. Because of the number of strong students in that school, Texas High became his choice.
“Hey, what’s up bro?” Ken said soon after Porter walked past the gate.
“Nothing new, Ken.” Porter replied with a smile.
“Looks like we were going to be classmates again. Looking foward to it.”
“Yeah, me too. Let’s go buddy.” Porter said to his only childhood friend. They have always do anything together. Fighting and stealing is their daily routine since they are able to lay a punch on someone’s face.
As soon as they entered their class, 1-D, all eyes are towards them. It was expected as Porter and Ken have already carved their name into everyone’s mind because of their fighting abilities. Some seniors of this school already listed them as the rookie of the year.
‘You see, Ken. All eyes are upon us.”
“It is just the first day and we have been already this famous. Ha ha ha!!! Ken laughed loudly until Mr. Don, the homeroom teacher of that class enters the classroom to begin his class introduction.
At 2.00 p.m when the school ended, Porter and Ken take a tour into their school to find the strongest guy in their school. Looks like their search ended without a clue. Ken was dissapointed.
“Damn it, there is nothing here. Let’s go, John. There is still tomorrow. Ken speaks as he begin his move.
“Wait!” Porter shout a little as he hold Ken from walking further.
“Come on, John. There is nothing here bro.”
‘Did you hear that? I think it came from the school backyard.” Porter said as they hear voices near them.
“Yeah, I did hear that. Let’s check it out. Ken makes the first move. They rushed in there with a hope that they will find a clue about the toughest guy in Texas High.
At the backyard, around ten students surrounding a beautiful girl. The girl became nervous and nervous. It was her first day in school and she had already been the target of some perverts.
“Please, let me go.” Lucy begged in vain but that just have made those guys laughed even louder.
“Let you go??? Come on miss, do you think that we are so stupid enough to let a beautiful chick like you run freely in this shool without having some of us?? Don’t trying to make us laugh, *****. That was not funny.” Smith, one of the boys talked as the others continue their laughing. Lucy’s tears bagan to flow. She was too afraid to think what might happen next.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do we have here?? A bunch of perverts want to have a shot at a hopeless girl?” Ken speaks as he and Porter finally arrived there.
“Lucy?! What are you doing here? I thought you’re home already. Porter said in shock when he saw Lucy, his childhood friend other than Ken.
“John? Thank God you’re here. Help me, please.” Lucy begged.
“What do you want, babies? Go back to your mama.” Smith began to frust.
“Sorry to disturb you bro but that girl over there is my friend. Would you be so kind and hand over her to us?” Ken tried to be kind and honest.
“What if we refuse? Smith talked arrogantly.
“Then i am afraid we have to kick your asses.” said John while removing his coat and necktie.
“Ha ha ha ha ha!!!” Smith and his men laughed.
“Looks like someones are fool enough to challenge The Crows.” Smith talked proudly as he stated that his group, The Crows are one of the strongest group in Texas High.
“Don’t be so sure, weaklings. We will see about that, bro”. Porter replied as he and Ken ran towards The Crows and the riot began.
Ten minutes have passed. Porter and Ken standing with a smile to each others as they looked to all members of The Crows, lying on the ground with their blood flowing from their heads.
“Damn it, you two. Arrgh” Smith said in pain.
“You guys messed with the wrong girl, bro.” Ken whispered to Smith while sitting on his body.
“You okay, Lucy? Porter gets his friend.
“Yeah, i am fine. Thank you John. Lucy replied with a smile knowing that she’s not in a danger anymore.
“Ken, why don’t you take Lucy home first. I think i have more business with this guy.”
“Sure, why not. Take care, buddy.” Ken speaks as he began to walk Lucy home.
Soon after Ken and Lucy have leave, Porter’s eyes are towards Smith.
“Now what?” Smith can still talk big.
“I need some information.”
“About what?”
“The strongest guy here.”
“You mean Ryan? Smith revealed the name.
“Ryan? Porter asked as his heart bumped even faster.
“Ryan Pitt. That was his name. He is a third year student. The one with long hair and a small scar on his left cheek. The leader of The Dragon. You heard my group’s name? This group was just one of several fighting group in Texas High but my group is nothing compared to The Dragon. With almost 100 members, that group is wihtout a doubt the most feared group here. Ryan, the strongest one in that group was acknowledged the strongest one in this school.” Smith explained as Porter listen attentively.
“How strong?” Porter asking more.
“Strong enough to beat my group with less time than yours himself. A minute i think.” Smith talking big of Ryan.
“Thank you, bro. Now you listen to me. All of you have lost to us and I am the one who could decide your fate. Starting now all of you are my underling. We going to find more people to join us as we were going to fighting The Dragon with i am the one who will beat Ryan Pitt.” Porter offered Smith and his guys and at the same time starting to recruit some people.
“Whatever, man. We were the ones who have lost anyway. Smith surrendered.
“Then I will see you tomorrow. my friends.” Porter takes his leave as he headed for his home.
Porter arrives at his home and heading for his bedroom. As soon as he enters his room, he lies on his bed and began to close his eyes...
The next day, Porter goes to school with Ken and this time Lucy decided to go to school with them. As they entered the front gate, The Crows greet them.
“Oh, my God!! It’s them again.” Lucy trembles in fear.
“Don’t worry Lucy. They are our friends now.” Porter told Lucy that sshe’s no longer need to be afraid of them now.
“Oh I see. I have to go to my class now. See you later John and Ken.” Lucy waves a goodbye as she headed to her class.
“Why did you become their friend? It is not like that we need some underlings or anything,” Ken questioned Porter’s decision.
“Actually. we need them buddy. I’ll tell the rest at class. Be patient.” Porter explains a little to his friend.
“Then, I will see you after school John.” Smith said as he and his friends takes their leave.
“Ok, later.”
In the class, John explained everything to Ken. Ken showed a smile as a sign of agreeing John’s action.
“So our target is Ryan Pitt and The Dragon, right?”
“Exactly, we will greet find them at break.” John replied.
At break time, they search for Ryan. Smith explained earlier that The Dragon’s base is at the school rooftop. As they opened the door to the rooftop, they can see so many students there. Then, Porter found the man he looking for. Below the water tank, a man sits while smoking a cigarette.
“That’s him.” Porter told Ken as he points Ryan.
“I see.”
“Hey, what do both of you want? No one allowed here.” a man shouted towards them.
“We were looking for Ryan Pitt.” Porter explained.
“Who do you think you are to have business with Ryan?” that man asked in anger.
“Wait, let them in.” Ryan talked slowly as he stood up and began walking towards Porter and Ken.
“What do you want?” Ryan asked calmly.
“I heard that you are the strongest one in Texas High. Show me.” Porter explains his objective of coming here.
After hearing Porter’s words, all of members of The Dragon have their eyes towards them. One by one, they began to laugh loudly.
“Why do you think I have to show you my strength? Ryan asked arrogantly.
“Because I am the one who will be the number one in Texas High.” Porter shows his determination.
“Interesting.... But to challenge me, you need to gather some men because challenging me is same with challenging The Dragon.”
“Fine. I will show you that you are no longer the strongest one here. There will be a day when your glory comes to an end and I will be the one who takes your place as the number one. When that day comes, you will realise my strength and how weak you are.” Porter sent a threat to Ryan.
“So cocky, I see. Then, I will also show you that day will never come. I am the strongest and no one will argue about that. Not even you.” Ryan answered Porter’s challenge.
“Let’s go Ken.”
“Yeah.” Ken followed Porter after showing Ryan his middle finger.
“We will meet The Crows after school to form our group.” Porter tells Ken.
As they have planned, they were meeting The Crows at the school backyard.
“So, anything we can help?” Smith asked.
“Starts right now, your group The Crows will no longer exist in this school. We will form a new group under my command. To beat The Dragon, we have to find more members by beating another group. We will start from a small and then we move to a bigger club until we have got what it takes to challenge The Dragon and that is when our group have the equal strength to them.” Porter explains the group objectives as the rest of them listen to him excitedly.
“So Smith, i want you to list every group exist in this school from the weakest to the strongest.” Ken gave an order to his new underling.
“Yes, buddy. I will make that list after this and show it to you tomorrow and that is when our mission begin, right?” Smith waited for a conformation.
“Exactly. So our base will be here and we will meet again tomorrow and we are going to rampage Texas High’s fighters from time to time.” Porter declares his group’s ambition.
“I think we have not decide our group’s name. So, what’s the name? Ken asked as the others look at Porter for an answer.
“The Phoenix. What do you say? Like it?”
All of them cheered as they have founded The Phoenix. They return to their home as the dream of becoming the strongest in Texas High began.
The Phoenix began their missions. Their first target is The Royals with 20 members. Porter, Ken, Smith, and the rest fought them aggressively. After 15 minutes, there's one more guy to finish up. Bob is not like Smith who can be beaten so easily. With 6 feet and 7 inch, Porter needs more times to own him. Finally, Porter found an opening and putted his fist to Bob's head. As Bob giving a sign of giving up, Porter declares himself the winner.
"Now you have lost to us. Why don't all of you become our crew?" Porter asking The Royals to join The Phoenix.
"And why do you think that we should join you?" Bob asked with a confused face.
"Because we will be challenging The Dragon. You will be members of the greatest group in our school right after the moment we defeated The Dragon." Porter giving an offer.
"We will join but only if you do us a favour." Bob giving a condition.
"What do you want?" Porter asked as he is getting confident that The Royals will join them.
"Lend us some hands. We want to beat The Knights who have beaten us 3 days ago."
"It's easy. We will assist you." Porter giving his word.
"Can we believe you?" Bob questioned Porter's answer.
"Yes. You have my word."
"Then, it's settle." Bob said with a smile while shaking hand with Porter.
The next day, The Phoenix consist of The Crows and The Royals went to rampage The Knights as Porter determined to keep The Royals in his group. This time, they spent less time to beat The Knights because of the number of members of The Phoenix which has been increased day after day. When Ken were about to kick the leader of The Knights head, he offers him an opportunity.
"How about joining us unless you want my foot to be stucked in your mouth."
"Fine, we will join. Just don’t hurt us anymore." the leader speaks as he trembles.
"That a wise decision you have. John, we got another crews!" Ken shouted happily to John Porters as The Phoenix increase their strength even more. John Porter got more confidence in him. The only thing in his mind is defeating Ryan and becoming the number one in his school. Meanwhile, not too far away from the scene, someone wearing a cap had been watching them from the very beginning. That was a member of The Dragon as he decided to take a look after he went back from the school canteen. Soon after the fight ends, he takes his leaves to The Dragon base, the school rooftop.
"They got another crews". The man with a cap reported to Ryan.
"What do you mean by 'another'? Who are 'they', Jim?" Ryan asked while having drinks with some female students.
"That two first year students who have challenged you few days ago. They got The Crows, The Royals, and just right now The Knights." Jim explained in details. Ryan didn’t respond.
"What should we do, Ryan? At this rate, more people will join them." Randy began to worry about The Phoenix's strength.
"What should we do, you asked? We don’t need to do anything, my friend." Ryan responds to his best friend.
"We can’t just sitting here doing nothing, Ryan. You are not afraid that their members will exceed ours?" Randy is unsatisfied with Ryan's answer.
"Relax, man. They might have more people but their people are just the weak one. Don't you know that all groups that have joined them are just the weak one. None of them have make it to the top 10 of the most powerful groups in Texas High. Look at our people. They train everyday to make sure that The Dragon is worth their name." Ryan gaves some words to calm his friend.
"I see, I see. Why I didn’t look into this? You are not only the strongest, but also the smartest. Damn you Ryan." Randy had started to feel better.
"Chill, man. As long as I am here. You don't have to be worried. Just take this drink and cool your head. Here." Ryan offered Randy a can drink.
Day after day. Time after time. The Phoenix are getting stronger. More groups have fallen into them. John Porter's name had been known by every single member of Texas High community. There are some rumours that he already surpassed Ryan Pitt as the number one of this school. With almost 90 members now, Porter had been decided not to recruit anymore people. He told Ken and the rest that they need to sharpen their skills so they can beat every member of The Dragon.
At the teachers office, all teachers were holding a meeting to find a way to prevent fighting in this school from getting worse.
"This year is the worst. More fights have occured in Texas High. Who's the one responsible for this?! The Principal angrily asked his staff.
"I believed that John Porter, the first year student is the one behind all of this." a teacher gave his response.
"John Porter? Who's in charge for his class? The Principal asked again.
"He was my student, sir." Mr. Don answered. All teachers have their eyes towards him as soon as he finished talking.
"Don't worry sir. I will fix this immediately." Mr. Don added.
"Then I will leave this matter to you." The Principal gave his order.
School had ended for today. John Porter had been asked to see Mr. Don at his office. Porter told Ken to take Lucy home first and said that he will going home soon after finishing up with Mr. Don.
"You want to see me, sir? Porter asked as soon as he entered Mr. Don office.
"Sit down, Porter." Mr. Don said as Porter following his order.
"I have heard that you had recruited some people and founded a group. Am i right?" Mr. Don stated his point immediately.
"It's none of your business, sir." Porter replied.
"I want you to stop all of this right now. You won't getting any good by defeating Ryan Pitt." Don asked Porter gently.
"As I said. It is none of your business. We are done here." Porter refused as he begins to walk away.
"Wait, Porter!!" Mr. Don tried to stop Porter from leaving without noticing a kick from Porter towards him.
"Arrgghh!!" Mr. Don screams in pain.
"I don't want to repeat this so many times. Just be a teacher and don't get yourself in my business. You are just a teacher!" Porter shouted to Mr. Don before leaving him in pain.
Everyday, Porter had done the same thing, fighting. One by one, all groups in Texas High have fallen in to The Phoenix. Now, The Phoenix had been acknowledged as the second strongest group here. Fighting had became one with his mind. He kept training in school gym to get stronger. He already handed Ryan Pitt a letter of challenge. The Phoenix will challenge The Dragon tomorrow.
Two months already passed. Porter's recalling the first day he entered Texas High and all the fights he and The Phoenix have. All of that have been started from his dream which is to be the strongest in fighting.
The bell rings. School had just ended for this day. When everyone was busy putting books in their bag, John Porter wears his glove. This is the day he is been waiting since he entered Texas High.
“What a face we have it here, bro! Looks like you are ready as hell.” Ken speaks as he approaches Porter.
“I am always ready for anything, buddy.” Porter replied with a confident face. “So, where is he?
“At the school field John.” Ken answered.
“You are so dead man. Let’s go Ken.” Porter speaks as he heading to the field.
They left their classroom slowly. One by one The Phoenix's members followed them and by the time Porter and Ken left the building, around 90 students already at their back. Porter stop quickly as he saw Lucy in her class, preparing to go home with her friends. Porter continues his walk as Lucy didn’t realised all of that. By the time they arrived, Ryan and The Dragon are waiting.
"Listen, guys. Fight whoever you want. Let's go!!! Porter runs towards The Dragon soon after finishing his word. All members of The Phoenix followed him as Ryan and The Dragon doing the same to Porter and The Phoenix.
An hour had passed.
Most of them lying on the floor with no strength left to fight. Only Porter and Ryan still standing. Both of them were tired but refused to give up. No matter what happen, one of them must lose. They continue their fight and neither Porter and Ryan has show a sign of giving up. Attacks after attacks have been used. More blood flowing from their heads. Finally, Porter had his punch hits Ryan face and Ryan fell on the ground soon after that. Ryan tried to stands back but this time he was at his limit. He can’t fight anymore. After seeing that, Porter shouted loudly as the winner of this fight had been decided.
"You have won, John. I can’t fight anymore. But you are still not the strongest in Texas High."
"Why?" John became confused.
"Actually before this The Dragon was the strongest group in Texas High. That's for sure and because of that, most people in this school have acknowledged me as the number one."
"Are you saying that there were other strong students here? Porter asked more.
"There are several people who are stronger than me. But they are different because they don’t have any group. They move on their own and don’t be suprised because every single one of them can fight all members of The Dragons and still one." Ryan told Porter the truth.
"So, who is the strongest?"
"Micheal, the one with red hair."
"Then, I will fight every single one of them until I have become strong enough to take that Micheal head-on. I will become the number one in Texas High no matter what." Porter declared his ambition to fight all strong guys in this school.
The fight between The Phoenix and The Dragon had ended. Porter learned that he is still miles away from becoming the strongest one in Texas High. Day after day, he kept challenging strong guys himself but always ended up losing to every one of them. But those defeats just going to make him more excited as fighting had been already became his life. The dream of becoming the strongest will not ever fade until the day he beats all of them come.
After school at one day,
“Sorry man. But I’m still have to beat you.” Porter issues a challenge.
“You never will, boy. Even if you did really beat me, there’s always someone new. The strongest will always changes.” Micheal accepted Porter challenged by the same time telling Porter that he can’t win.
“Don’t get cocky.” Micheal’s can’t wait for the fight.
“Just try and get me, boy.”
Once again, Porter tries to be the number one. As long as he keeps breathing, he’ll always try to be the number one.

Beccav
08-05-2009, 06:13 PM
I wasn’t familiar with the manga or the movies, so I don’t know how much your story is influenced by either. I’m not really worried about that, however, but while you have a strong outline for your story and strong characters, I would really like to see them both fleshed out more.

You are doing a good job with the speech of the characters; ie just enough slang to make the point, without putting in so much to date the piece or to make it obnoxious. That is a very strong point in your favor—too much foul language or dated slang can hurt a piece more than it will help, because it actually distracts from the story itself.

However, we have no real sense of the surroundings or personally of the characters. The idea that John is obsessed with fighting is clear, but there is more to him—he is clearly a leader; but why has he chosen this path? Are they in the city or the country? To have this many students it is probably the city, but it is not clear—how does that surrounding affect their choices?

Your gang names are very creative, as are many other portions of this story. I applaud your effort and hope to see many more stories from you.